萨默维尔的幽默

纳尔逊勋爵 · 发表于 2011-2-9 19:27

一、

围歼“俾斯麦”号成功之后，立下头功的H舰队载誉返回直布罗陀。旗舰“声望”号进港时一个陆军士兵在港内高喊：“这么说，TM的整个海军一起上场才干掉俾斯麦号？”

萨默维尔回复：“一半海军。另一半正把你们这些G杂种从克里特岛救出来。”

When Renown returned to Gibraltar after the Bismarck action, a soldier shouted across to the ship, "So it takes all the bloody navy to sink the Bismarck'; back went the reply, 'Only half, the other half's evacuating you bastards from Crete.'

二、

某次，直布罗陀淡水短缺，因此某些皇家海军女子服务队成员偷跑到船上洗热水澡（按：可能是皇家方舟号航空母舰）。这事被负责女子服务队的军官发现后贴出一纸通知，严禁女子服务队成员在皇家海军战舰上洗澡。不久之后萨默维尔中将视察女子服务队时看到了这张通知，于是给加了一个注脚：

除非她们是来见H舰队指挥官的。

On one occasion, the shortage and rationing of water in Gibraltar prompted some WRNS officers to wangle their way aboard ship to have a hot bath. Their Office in Charge put up a stern notice saying that Wrens were not to have baths on board HM Ships. Somerville, visiting the Wrennery shortly afterwards, saw the notice and wrote underneath, 'Except when visiting FO(H).'

三、

上面的事件发生之后不久，某次H舰队完成任务进港时萨默维尔致电港口：“通知将军的女人准备好。”

直布罗陀方面汗，要求解释。

萨默维尔回电：“哦，在将军和女人两词中间加一个‘要洗澡的’。”

Another time, when the ships were approaching harbour the signal was sent, 'Please arrange Admiral's woman to be ready.' Somewhat mystified, Gibraltar asked for clarification. Somerville replied, 'Insert washer between Admiral and woman.'